Purple Monkey Dishwasher

Posted on Sun Mar 21st, 2021 @ 10:52pm by Daihnaa & Stephen Spires

Mission: S0E0: What Came Before
Location: If it was up your ass you'd know
Timeline: IDK I'm trippin' balls braaa

The administrative section was like Spires' very own temple of doom. It was not uncommon for him to prowl the public areas, but that only meant Security and other personnel knew him on sight. He had placed microcams throughout the station, none of which lasted for long due to their degrading materials and short-term battery life. Not once had he ever placed one here.

Ingram had fortified his castle bailey well, insulating himself with attentive and dutiful officers that were always watchful for intrusive, subversive, and otherwise handsome individuals who kept trying to pry into where they did not belong.

Orion's Thorn changed all of that.

Did Spires feel right about getting somebody hooked on an addictive hallucinogen? It's not like he hadn't bribed sources with assorted snuff and other substances before. What was the difference between enticing a connoisseur with a fine vintage and doing the same with a menial worker and a fun little piece of paradise? Maybe there were a few, but Spires was in control. He would do what it took to ensure that he could lay bare the inner workings and darkest secrets of Ingram and his little empire on the fringes of space. His oath wasn't to uphold the law but to expose those who did not. If he became the news and became exposed himself? Well, he'd deserve to be disgraced because that would be beneath his skills. No journalist became the news. At least none worth their salt.

Kicking back in a small alcove stocked with a few lounge chairs and a vidscreen, Stephen sat with one foot propped on his knee as he finished the last of his to-go latte that he'd sipped clear from the Medina to that spot. The target hat Daihnaa had identified -- a member of the custodial staff -- was due to make her rounds this hour at any moment. Spires made ready his play but kept casual. There could be little doubt he was under surveillance right now, whether active or passive, and he had to make a show for the cameras that nothing sketchy was afoot. Not if he wanted a repeat performance.

"Excusez-moi," he called out to the janitor as she went by with her cart. "S'il vouz plais?" The disposable cup shook in his hand in a silent request for her to take it.

The janitor in question, one Maria Sanchez Villa Lobos Juan Vasquez Rodriguez was in a world of her own. A tiny implant in her ear, which was forbidden to be active while on duty, blared a song directly into her ear and she sang along with it.

"Hey, brother, what you thinking?
Leave that old record spinning
You feel the rhythm going

Her voice rose in octave and she threw her hands up and shook her hips. "They call it lonely diggin'!

Let's end your time to lay low
Your knees are bending and so
It's time to get up and let go
You're gonna come undone!"

Then she saw the guy standing there was a cup and something coming out of his mouth. "Si. Garbage. You toss." She pointed at the bag lining the can inside of her cart.

How perfect. Stephen smiled at her and purposely overtossed the cup. It flew over the cart onto her hand. "Oh, I'm so sorry, chere!" Stephen said in a feigned apology. He jumped up and offered his handkerchief. The one that was laced on one end he was careful not to touch. "Here, please, allow me." He began wiping down her hand without waiting for permission.

"Senior, what are, let go of me, please," she said and pulled back.

"So sorry!" Spires exclaimed. He left the handkerchief stuck to her person, soaked as it was with coffee, sugar water, and multiple hits of Orion Thorn. Having delivered the package, he quickly made for the men's room where he could stand apart from surveillance while still watching to see what the target did next. This was the riskiest part of the operation and Spires did his best not to appear like a creeper. If the delivery had been successful, Maria Sanchez Villa Lobos Juan Vasquez Rodriguez would soon experience an episode and hopefully head to either the restroom herself or to her maintenance closet.

The first thing Maria saw was two cats, one on either side of her and she looked down to discover paws at the end of her arms. She popped a claw and blinked, then straightened her Collar as she walked into a empty story front and proceeded to put herself in a cage that had previously displayed something.

Spires rubbed his chin. There were not many empty storefronts on the administrative level and few of them were on the cleaning staff's rounds. The fact that the target went to one might indicate more than met the eye, or they might be having a bad trip. At any rate, he surreptitiously made his way from the restroom where he'd been standing vigil to the maintenance corridor. It would lead him to the backside of the storefront and hopefully prevent him from being noticed by anyone.

It wasn't hard to locate Maria. Someone on a bad trip tended to make themselves known. On approach, Spires tested the waters with his hands outspread. "Ma'am? You okay?"

All she saw was a minotaur wearing a suit grabbing a humanoid cobra female and tear its head in half. She rubbed something invisible over her chest and began to sway to the music only she could hear.

Looking around to ensure no one was watching, Spires took a breath and steeled himself for what came next. It was unethical. There was no way around it. But nobody's innocent. If length of tenure working under Ingram undoubtedly inculcated her with his corruption. Such was the way of the universe.

"Maria Sanchez Villa Lobos Juan Vasquez Rodriguez, you will take the rest of the day off citing sickness, and on your next shift you will plant these microcams within Benjamin Ingram's office, quarters, and other private locations to which you have access." He pressed the microcams into her hand. "Do you understand?"

"I understand," Maria told the alligatoroid as she palmed the cameras and tucked them into her outfit.

Spires blinked. That was... easy. Too easy. What if she were discovered? That could blow back rather quickly. "And if you are discovered, you will attempt to seduce Benjamin Ingram directly... or if you're detained by another person, claim you are engaged an illicit affair with Benjamin Ingram." There. That should cover the bases.

Confusion filled her face at the various suggestions and her mind determined that she should plant the bugs on Ingrams and seduce him. "I understand."

"Okay. Bye."

Spires unceremoniously withdrew from the ball tripping woman and faded back into his routine as best he could. Journalists were not good people. Not his brand. The truth came before good and evil. Exposing the corruption on Canopus Station was worth incriminating himself into it. That was what Spires told himself. He would keep telling himself for days to come.